Trick or Treat! ~10.31.06

Are you ready for the ghost and goblins to come knocking on your door? Time to hand out the candy and light the jack o’laterns! Hope all who are celebrating have a safe, spooky and fun Halloween!!

To help get in the mood, I found the below from the Nightmare Before Christmas by Tim Burton.

And incase you missed it this year, here is It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown! A classic that just has to be seen before trick or treating!

Automatic Writing ~10.27.06

I answered a question about automatic writing in the Yahoo! Answers and thought I would also post this answer here in my blog incase it is of some use to others. 

Automatic writing can be a useful tool to get in touch with your higher self, angels, guides and other spirits. It can also open up a connection to things you don’t want to be connected to. It is important to set up your intention before starting any automatic writing or other method to get in contact with entities that are outside of yourself. The intention can be as simple as “I would like to only be in contact with my angels, guides, God, higher self and only receive that information that is for my highest and greatest good. I ask that I be protected from all that is not of my highest and greatest good.”

Some easy steps to follow for automatic writing are:

1. State your intention

2. If you have a question you would like answered, write it at the top of the page. Otherwise write out the name of the entity or your higher self, etc. that you are wanting to get in contact with.

3. Allow yourself to fall into a meditative state – where your mind is quiet, without thought or attachment to the outcome of the exercise. This may take some time and practice, but you can do it.

4. Begin moving your pen or pencil on the paper – sometimes in loops helps to get the ball rolling.

5. Just allow whatever words, symbols, drawings to come forth, do not doubt, criticize or try to understand them until you are finished with the writing.

6. Allow the pen to flow until you feel whatever answer is complete and the dialogue is finished.

7. Thank whoever you asked for coming forward to give you guidance and close out the writing session.

8. Take time to read through what has been given to you, at this time it would be wise to see if feels like truth, of your highest good, makes some sense, etc. If it does not feel like truth, be sure to discard it and let it go. Only hold onto what you feel in your heart is of your highest good.

Favorite Song of the Moment ~10.26.06

NickelBack’s Far Away is one of my favorite songs right now.  It moves me some times to tears, as it reminds me of all the time Don and I spent seperated and how I felt during those times apart.  It definitly captures my feelings of never wanting to be seperated again and not wanting to let go of the love we share with one another. 

 

 

Far Away
Lyrics – All The Right Reasons :.

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there’s just one left
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know
 
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore
 
On my knees, I’ll ask
Last chance for one last dance
‘Cause with you, I’d withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I’d give it all
I’d give for us
Give anything but I won’t give up
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know
 
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore
 
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
 
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
‘Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
‘Cause I’m not leaving
Hold on to me and
never let me go

Return to Compassion ~10.24.06

Since I last wrote about Inner Reluctance about my path and working with spirits, I was able to take some time to relax and reflect.  After writing it all out, it really helped me to see how much I had been holding onto those negative emotions and how much I really needed to chill out, find ways to play and enjoy my path. 

Right after I was finished, I put on some meditation music and began to draw a bath.  Lately I have been making up our bath salts at home with some sea salt, Epsom salt and then adding in essential oils of Frankincense, Myrrh, Lavender, Ginger, Sandalwood, Rose and then charging the salts with Reiki, Vijarden and this set I had placed on my huge Rose Quartz crystal with the intention that it help return me to a state of compassion for myself and others I encounter.  As I know, if I am like this with myself, I am not usually being too compassionate to others – particularly those who have crossed over.  A little thought popped into my head that maybe I am jealous of them because I know as soon as I help guide them to the Light they get to return home and I am still here.  Nothing wrong with being here, but it is not the same as being home in the oneness and love of All that Is.  If you do not remember that feeling or have not felt it before – it is one of the most amazing, loving and encompassing feelings on Earth. 

Ok – so back to the bath salts and the rest of the past few days. 

I took the bath salts and ran a nice hot bath, with some candles burning and the music playing, brought in our little statue of Quan Yin as well for some extra help and guidance.  With the lights turned off and the flicker of candle light it was so relaxing and rejuvenating.  I allowed myself to play again with energy in the water, and was able to see colors and delight in the feeling that I hadn’t been able to see or feel for quite a while.  Many times I was able to turn the water almost violet pink with energy and then blue and green.  Just a soft glow from my hands in different colors, holding a ball of energy under the water, and just playing and healing myself.  Just this small return to seeing the colors helped to lift me back up.  It could just be that without having too many people to help in the physical; I just don’t get to see the energy in that way as often anymore.  I have been sending so much long distance that it just isn’t the same experience and I forget what I already know and feel like I have lost it. 

I also saw an episode of the Ghost Whisperer; I don’t often watch this program as I really don’t like Jennifer Love Hewitt’s outfits or her acting most of the time.  But I felt called to see it and got the message in it that I needed.  It reminded me of why I have helped spirits and their family and friends who are still here.  It is not always easy to be able to understand what happens in life and sometimes even the spirits will need help to finish up their business and gain or give forgiveness to their family and friends.  I still don’t fully understand my own reluctance at helping them or my fear of talking to spirits. By this time in my life, I think I should be past that.  I have seen spirits in one form or another all of my life, with my first clear memory starting when I was 7.  It takes nothing from me to help them cross over, it is very simple and easy for me to do this and I usually enjoy it when I am in the actual process of it.  I hope one day to figure it out so this fear doesn’t block me anymore.  It seems to get in the way of a lot of good I could be doing.

One other movie that made me remember why I do what I do and helped me regain some compassion was the Sixth Sense.  I remember feeling how that little boy felt in the movie, not understanding and not being able to get anyone else around me to understand or even bothering to try.  I also know that if those of us who can do this work don’t do it, the work does fall to someone else.  I really couldn’t sit by and not do this work and let it fall to a child who really is not ready to do the work. Because I am aware that I was brought to an area and still actively choose not to do anything out of my own fear and disconnection with everything it makes me feel a bit guilty.  If the things I see and encounter can still at times freak me out I really don’t like to think how it would affect someone else.  Also if those of us, who can stand in light, compassion and love and help others but do not choose to do so, how will the next generation ever have a good example here on Earth. 

Spirit guides, angels and power animals always help us to understand, but the physical nature of our existence requires some help and understanding from those around us.  To help support each other and light the way.  I hope those who can – will shine bright and be filled with love and courage.  Especially now that winter is approaching, the darkness can sometimes creep into our souls without us even noticing it.  Allow yourself and your heart to shine bright – like a star, Christmas tree, jack-o-lantern. Whatever it takes to sparkle and shine, if we pull together we can shine brighter and sparkle more than we ever do alone.

What I Expected (Poem) ~10.23.06

The below is one of my favorite poems, it has tickled in the back of my mind ever since the first time I heard it. It was read by my favorite English teacher, Mr. Melchior. He taught a class on mythic patterns, with the primary focus being on the Hero’s Journey and the ideas of Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung and a book titled Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Estes. Looking back now, his class was part of what helped me to see beyond just the physical into the patterns and myths of life around us and what we create. Hope you enjoy the below poem as much as I do.

What I Expected

by Stephen Spender

What I expected, was

Thunder, fighting,

Long struggles with men

And climbing.

After continual straining

I should grow strong;

Then the rocks would shake,

And I rest long.

What I had not foreseen

Was the gradual day

Weakening the will

Leaking the brightness away,

The lack of good to touch,

The fading of body and soul

—Smoke before wind,

Corrupt, unsubstantial.

The wearing of Time,

And watching of cripples pass

With limbs shaped like questions

In their odd twist,

The pulverous grief

Melting the bones with pity,

The sick falling from earth—

These, I could not foresee.

Expecting always

Some brightness to hold in trust,

Some final innocence

Exempt from dust,

That, hanging solid,

Would dangle through all,

Like the created poem,

Or faceted crystal.

Inner Reluctance ~10.19.06

The past few days I have been in a state of reflection, which is not always a good thing for me, as I can easily get lost in thought and hours will go by without much activity.  Especially right now, as there isn’t much to do but unpack and wait on whether or not I got a job.   The latest question that has popped into my mind has been where and when did my reluctance come from when working with spirits and entities. 

I remember when I first started to re-open my gifts and actively wanted to learn how to use them better and with more control.  I had so many feelings of amazement, wonder, fear and joy every time I learned something new, tried something out and it worked or just saw something that I had never seen before.  There were times when I would see a spirit and be so scared and get so freaked out but I would still try to work with that spirit and help them, just the awe alone of being able to see and hear had been enough.  I also remember the joy I had at being able to communicate and feel my guides and angels around me all of the time, so much that I could see them riding in the car with me or walking by my side. 

I wonder where I lost the joy I used to have with these experiences.  Many times now when I see or feel spirits I am just angry and irritated.  I don’t often see my angels or guides don’t feel the joy and love I used to feel from them or be prompted to seek them out.  I know a lot of it started when Don and I were working day and night on the expansion of Vijarden and our own awareness.  It seemed like so much was happening so quickly and so much at once that I got burnt out and overwhelmed.  That overwhelming feeling happened again when I moved to Monterey, IN.  There was just so much spirit activity, disturbance and other entities that I tired so quickly of it again.  I have seen both sides of the spirit coin – good, bad, and other – there is everything out there to be discovered, much like there is on Earth. 

Part of me so longs to share what I have learned and experienced with others, to teach them the healing methods I have learned and help them to grow in their awareness and be able to feel the oneness and unconditional love that is out there.  The other part wonders if it is such a good thing to know so much and still feel the way I do some days, where those feelings of oneness and love are at their lowest, knowing that there is a high so much greater that I have felt and experienced but is lost at times.  The periods where the high drops to the low is the worst feeling, because it sucks the light and life out of the day and it is a hard time to pull back up to the high of the light and love. 

When at the highest – the connection to All is so strong, so magnificent and amazing, the love that I feel is infinite and awe-inspiring, the world feels more alive and looks more brilliant than it ever did, like it was re-born that day.  All fresh and new and lovely. 

Perhaps right now I am in the low point and need to refocus on returning to that state of oneness.  It isn’t as though I do not know how; it is just that when this low it takes a lot to be bothered to drag back out again.  I have had a repeating cold that is draining my energy and giving me a lot of pain lately combined with the grayness of the days, my spirit is not quite where it should be.  It makes me wonder how I can help so many others, yet days like this cannot always help myself. 

My intention is to return to that state of oneness, grace and beauty, I know I can and have faith that I can.  It has helped to write this out, hopefully it makes sense to someone else.  But if it doesn’t, that is ok, as it helped me to get all of this out and away from myself. 

I just so want to return to a state of awe at the things that are beyond the 5 senses, yet dread that the feeling is lost forever with having seen so much so quickly.  The playfulness and childlike wonder are just not there.  I feel like an old crone, muttering around my caldron about the state of the world today – and I am only 31 – god help the rest of the years to come if I feel this old already.

Sorry if this is a bit low and melodramatic, I think the grayness of the days is getting to me. Pray for some sunshine!!!!

Many blessings all!

 

New Toy from Don ~10.06.06

For a housewarming gift, I received an awesome new toy from Don. A Wacom Graphire tablet to help with drawing on the pc. I have been wanting to get one of these for so long, and am so excited to use it now! It is so cool! I have already started to work on the pictures for the Faerie book. I am definitly getting some new inspiration and help to use the new tool and programs with it. I am asking for more help from divine guidance to assist me in completing this book soon.

I didn’t receive the last job I was offered and am feeling a bit discouraged by that. I really don’t know what I am going to be able to do as there aren’t many jobs that fit my skills around here. The ones I have been applying for don’t respond at all to my applications. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

Creatively speaking, I am receiving wonderful ideas and have a renewed passion for art and writing that I haven’t had in a long time. But on the other hand, I have no way to have income and that is scaring me a lot. The infinite creator has always provided for me in the past with a job and everything I have needed in the new places I have moved and this time it has not been like that. I have had a lot of growth both emotionally and spiritually these last few months, especially spiritually for some of my gifts, but I am not sure what I should be doing anymore. I feel pulled in so many different directions without any clear idea of how to accomplish any of them or a way to provide for myself.

Don and I are doing great in our new place, it feels so much better than Monterey. We have huge windows looking out to Willow trees and sunshine all day long coming in our windows. With it getting colder, we are looking forward to starting up our fireplace and throwing in some sage, sweetgrass and cinammon. Our place is turning into a home as we continue to unpack and set up.

Hope everyone’s fall passing easily with lots of color and sunshine!

Many blessings!