Where does the idea that you are not beautiful come from?
Where does the idea that you are not good enough come from?
Where does the idea that you are ugly, stupid, worthless come from?
So many of the negative thoughts that replay in our head stem from words we heard as children and were not even created by us. As children, we hear everyone else’s opinion of who and what we are and take that to form our identity. This identity isn’t always true or even accurate of who we really are. Sometimes parents, friends, teachers and others around us say some of the most awful things that as children become planted like seeds and instead of growing into beautiful flowers of self confidence and inner strength, they fester and grow into life draining weeds. We can stop the weeds from growing and draining our self worth and stop the havoc of what was planted so we can create a garden of beauty within us.
Take the time this week to really look at the inner thoughts and dialogue you have with yourself. What thoughts replay over in your head, what thoughts are hurting you and causing you pain? When you look at yourself in the mirror – do you immediately turn away or say something negative to yourself? Look for where this idea came from, did it truly come from yourself in that present moment or are you merely repeating a cycle of thought that you have had for too many years? These thoughts have no real basis in your life and aren’t true.
For each negative thought, replace it with a positive thought about yourself. If you think to yourself, I am too fat and I can never lose weight. You are right – you will continue to be too fat and never lose weight. But if in that moment when you think ‘I am too fat’ immediately replace it with “I am beautiful and becoming healthier every day.” you will be retraining yourself to succeed. Each negative thought you have is written on your heart a hundred times, making it harder for you to believe in yourself and transform yourself into who you truly want to be. It is harder to clear away the negative thoughts because they multiply like weeds in the garden, but one positive and powerful thought can stand over them all like a beautiful rose.
These thoughts extend past weight and beauty to every aspect of our lives. As children, we soak them up like sponges. Some of us were lucky to be told positive and uplifting messages, but even the smallest and most meaningless negative thought can sit hidden and block us from embracing all that we are. A child told that she is stupid and will never amount to anything is just as damaging as being told she is ugly and fat. Or being told by those around you that you can’t do something, you aren’t good enough or strong enough to live your dreams or accomplish all that you dream of doing. The only one who can truly limit yourself and the possibilities you have for your life is you. You don’t have to keep believing what others say or think, you can stand tall and know you can do anything you choose to do. Believe in yourself and there is nothing that can stop you from doing what your heart desires!
Some activities you can do to help erase the negative thoughts and start to think about yourself with powerful and positive thoughts are below. I hope they help you to begin your journey to a positive and healthy new attitude about yourself and your life.
· Look in the mirror, and really look at yourself. Take the time to see yourself and not just glance at your appearance. What thoughts pop into your head as you look yourself over? Are they positive or negative? As negative thoughts pop up – consider why you think them. For each negative thought about yourself, come up with a positive thought or a way to improve yourself so you don’t think so negatively about yourself. Next really look yourself in your eyes and say “I Love You.”
· Every morning as you get ready for your day, say one positive affirmation about yourself. To help you remember, post it on your mirror so every time you look in the mirror you will see this awesome thought about yourself.
· Compliment others – each day compliment someone on something different. Maybe you have to find something positive about them if you always like them; this just makes it more of a challenge. As you are less critical of others, you will become less critical of yourself. This will help you find more positive aspects of yourself!
· Pamper yourself – take time to renew your spirit and feel your body at rest. Take a long bath with some sea salts and light some candles. Let yourself take a luxurious nap in the sun on a beautiful afternoon.
· Treat yourself to a new haircut, manicure or outfit. Even the smallest treat can boost your spirits and self esteem.
· Take a walk in the woods, by the lake or in a garden. Look at the beauty in everything you walk by, really discover all the beauty in the world around you. Think of something that you don’t think is beautiful, something you think is ugly and try to find the beauty in it. Sometimes we think bugs are ugly and gross, but if you really look at how they are created, the detail and texture of their bodies, you may be able to find the beauty even in bugs. If you can look at what you once considered to be gross and ugly in something else, how can you not look at yourself and see the beauty of all that you are? If you still cannot think of yourself as beautiful, figure out why you can’t and find ways to change those thoughts.
· Write down all of the positive and negative thoughts you think about yourself and your life. If you count more negative thoughts than positive thoughts, find ways to increase the positive thoughts. Talk to friends, family members, clergy and others to see if someone who has a different perspective on you may think about you in a better way than you think about yourself.
· Think of 3 beautiful thoughts to say about yourself. Write them down each day and say them to yourself every time you see yourself in the mirror. Also say them every morning and every night before you go to bed. These thoughts can be powerful affirmations to help change your life if you choose to create a new positive thought to replace a long held negative idea about yourself. For example, this thought “I can never lose weight, I always fail.” can be replaced with “Every day I am losing weight and will succeed at my goals.”
· Every time you have a negative thought about yourself or your life, imagine a chalkboard and strike the negative thought out with chalk. Write a new positive thought over the negative one, clearing it out of your heart and memory.
Cloak yourself in the stars,
let the sun and moon beams flow down your hair.
Stand tall knowing that you are a child of light,
filled with all of the hope and promise
that dawns every morning.
Take your inner beauty and wisdom
and let it gracefully flow from you
to all you encounter today,
for your light is special and shines brighter
every time it is shared with another.
~ Alicia Crystalus
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